The in-between state

Months ago, I had a conversation with a client and friend who's facing a difficult and very challenging situation. 

After circling around, going back and forth with her justifications and "making her points" very clear, we moved onto the part of the conversation where she dropped her armor and finally gave in: "It's just tiring and frustrating. When is this ever going to end or be resolved?

My answer to her was: "It might never happen”. The opportunity here is not so much about what to do with the situation, specifically, but how to access the peace we need, if in fact, things don't come to a resolution or at the very least, not in the time frame we are wishing for. 

The quote below from Pema is actually part of a bigger quote:

"Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don't get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit"

The off-center, in-between state in which she talks about, the uncomfortable place is where the invitation lies for us to act. To practice. Internally, first.

They are uncomfortable because there're no guarantees, no clear answers. It feels like we are up against the world and people are not doing what they're supposed to. Deep inside we want someone to come rescue us, we want a ground. And we want it our way. 

While life is asking us to simply make choices.  To flow in-between what it is, right now. 

Undoubtedly, there are many layers to a situation. However, can we find rest and tenderness amongst the pain? The uncertainty?

Can we take off the armor from time to time and look within to let go of the resistance, of the longings for things or for people to be different?  

Can we slowly put aside the narrative about this circumstance, even if is just little parts of it? 

What if we apply the same amount of energy we put towards holding on to "the story" and use it towards us in the form of love, self care, support and space to face the in-between, the uncomfortable.

Life is a constant transition. Things might not have a definite answer for a while, people might not act as we wish they would, as we expect they would but WE STILL HAVE CHOICES.

By realizing how tiring and exhausting it all is, it might be the hint we need to move on, to explore further, to heal, to live in peace with uncertainty. 

Mari Chin